The Yellow-Blue Love

Krieg: They say being in the context boosts the learning process. I’m learning German, and I learned this word as it was repeated in the media these days. My stomach hurts when I think about war. I was born the year after a war. So I didn’t see it, and neither did I ever see my oldest uncle. What I saw was the broken heart of my grandmother. I witnessed how she never stepped into a beauty salon ever again. I visited a grave every year on the Nowruz afternoon. I saw pictures of a tall guy- a male version of my mother- in the family album and some strange unearthly photos of a dead body being carried by stranger men.

13 days ago, when I woke up and heard the news of the Russian invasion of Ukraine, the first thing that came to my mind was how little people mean in this equation and how power has perfected the art of manipulation. Igniting wars for an inch more on the map to revive an old empire and show the world that you have power. Doesn’t all this sound familiar?

A few days ago, I listened to A Room of One’s Own summary on Blinkist suggested by the curators as the Blink of the Day. I had already read this classic a few times before in English and Persian and had recommended it to friends. Back then, the most important thing that I got from the book was the importance of independence and personal space for a woman to grow. This time, on the other hand, my attention was drawn to where she visits a library to examine the books written by and about women. She finds out that many books are written about women by men. Books about their anatomy and personality. One book strikes her attention because it says awful things about women. She wonders why men have done it throughout history. Is it out of contempt?

Looking back at the metaphors of war, land, invasion, and defense, we see that the land is almost always considered female. We say motherland, right? So when another country (rapist) invades (rapes) this mother, it’s the duty, especially of men, to restore their honor. That’s the same ground that gives men reason for honor killings. I wonder how rape and invasion are synonymous. Haven’t we all seen this kind of behavior in the people around us who feel much neglected that they want to regain their power no matter what?

I was talking to a friend about the war (and how much talking heals frustration!). She argued that The seed of hating outsiders comes from misogyny, so if you want to make your people hate others, make them practice hating women. When you let yourself subjectify a woman, you can do the same for a land. Another invasion led by another mad man. It’s easy to call them mad men but isn’t it time to reflect on how these mad men become mad men? I remember a visual joke on early days of the war picturing baby Putin in his mother’s belly reading: ‘Abortion is not always a bad option’. Isn’t it again putting the blame on women?

As I was walking down Straße des 17. Juni, during the anti-war demonstration, the first thing that I noticed was the eyes of people. There were no worries, no fear, no anger. It was a peaceful demonstration, after all. I knew I was experiencing privilege for a change, being an observer for a change, not fearing getting arrested or shot at for a change. A brand new kind of experience for me. People came walking their dogs and pushing strollers. Some even came casually carrying a bottle of beer (definitely not what I experienced before). There was no tear gas, no running away, no losing your vocal cords after shouts. We gathered in the Tiergarten square, literally on the street. It was nice to walk where there always used to be cars in the middle, the weather was cold, but the sun was shining.

From the first day, it also had many surprising turns of events, from national TVs calling Ukrainians different kinds of refugees to seeing a polite Ukrainian soldier reciting a poem in Farsi. I even saw a dog pooping on Putin’s photo, and the owner encouraged other pet owners to do the same. The most important thing is that the Ukrainian resistance surprised the mad man in power, defeating Putin’s media coverage. Slava Ukrayini!